Making the transition from child to carer is a challenge that many of us face as our parents age. But while dealing with the day-to-day reality of caring for a loved one, often we forget to consider how these changes are impacting our relationships.
We spoke to Better Caring client Kerrie, about how becoming a carer for her mother Laurel has changed their relationship, and what it means to have a care worker for her mother who can share the load.
How have you found that caring for your mother has changed your relationship?
“Conversation with my mum changed from discussing life and what’s happening in the world to focusing on her life. Suddenly my role had changed, I was no longer the daughter to chat with and have fun with. I became the person who had to do things for her and care for her. Our relationship has changed dramatically”.
How do you think that a care worker visiting Laurel on a casual basis has helped her?
“It has broadened her world. In the past, there were times when I was the only person she will see in the week. If I can’t get there then she can go days without speaking or interacting with another person. Unfortunately her friends are in the same situation, so home visits from them are rare”.
What would you look for when finding a care worker for your mother?
“I would look for someone who is understanding and patient. Someone who wants to get to know her and treat her as an individual. Someone understanding and caring… definitely not someone who works in a perfunctory manner”.
What do you think your mother wants out of a care worker? What does she like?
“Right now I don’t think she really knows what she wants out of a care worker… if you asked her she would probably say it didn’t matter, but it would. She would be happy that there is someone coming to assist her and to show empathy towards her. Someone who treats her gently and who is a good listener. Mum likes to share stories of her family and she loves going out for a coffee”.
Hundreds of people like Kerrie are using the Better Caring platform to search for, find and hire local care workers directly. With average rates of $30 an hour, you can find affordable, quality care workers to provide social and domestic support, personal assistance, help accessing the community, nursing services and more.
Click here to find and hire local care workers for your loved one.